Dear Tomioka-san
by PinkOkapi
Summary: "Writing such a long letter to you, it seems like I don't hate you after all." A few days after Kibutsuji Muzan was defeated, Giyuu receives a letter from Shinobu's crow. MANGA SPOILERS


In which Giyuu receives a letter from Shinobu's crow a few days after Kibutsuji Muzan was defeated. She writes the letter a few days before the final battle.

Because I don't feel that their relationship in canon has developed far enough for Shinobu to write a goodbye letter to Giyuu (if only they had more time together ugh), I took the liberty to insert my own hc in which they met and talked about the incoming battle a few days after Giyuu rejoins the Pillars training.

Also reuploading this due to formatting problems.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Kimetsu no Yaiba. Shinobu would still be alive if I did. TT-TT

EDIT: thank you **hanatsubaki no kaori** for the russian translation on ficbook. Link in profile!

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Dear Tomioka-san,

If you are reading this now, it means that I'm no longer in this world. It would also mean that you survived and the long battle against Kibutsuji Muzan has come to an end. Congratulations, you did well.

I guess this is a goodbye letter of some sort. Did I surprise you? To be honest, if you told me a year ago that I would be penning one to you, I would have laughed. Other than people from the Butterfly Estate, the only people I am writing to are our cute little juniors, Mitsuri and you. You won't let it show on your face, but you're secretly happy about this fact, aren't you?

As you might have already guessed, or heard from the others, I had planned to die fighting Upper Moon 2. Sorry for keeping you in the dark even when you went out of your way to encourage me to keep living. Your words made me very happy, even if they couldn't change the future. To know that I meant something to Tomioka-san who knows the real me, gave me genuine joy that I hadn't experienced for a long time. For a fleeting moment, I saw the alternative ending that could have been: watching Kanao and the rest grow up, surpass us and earn the titles of Pillars; helping Tanjiro-kun cure his sister and watching the Kamado siblings reunite in a heartwarming embrace; egging Iguro-san to finally confess to Mitsuri, who would then realise that she too was in love with him all this time; even having another meal with you—it still puzzles me, why someone who hardly smiles, manages to smirk so creepily over a bowl of salmon daikon. Oh Tomioka-san, you never fail to amuse me.

Unfortunately, the gears of fate had already been set in motion, since the day my older sister was killed. A future where I could live peacefully and guiltlessly without killing the demon that took away her life is impossible. It doesn't exist. I simply cannot live with myself if I were to let Kanae's sacrifice amount to nothing.

You're probably thinking to yourself now, that maybe you could have done or said something more to change my mind. Don't. Tomioka-san, I am assuring you right now that I have never been happier or more relieved ever since I succeeded my sister's position as a Pillar.

Besides, you've helped me aplenty, even if you might not know it. When I first became a Pillar, I was at a loss. In so many ways, I was less of a Demon Slayer than my sister was—I couldn't even behead a demon. I wasn't worthy to be a Pillar, or to even wear her haori, she was someone more powerful and more benevolent than I could ever dream to be. And then, there was you. The half-and-half haori. I thought we were the same, carrying the burdens of people who have passed. But while I was struggling to reconcile with the old memories and burdens that came with the haori—futilely, like a fly caught in a spider's web—you were always looking forward like as if it was the most natural thing in the world to get over grief. I hated you so much then. Unlike me, you never let your emotions cloud your thinking. Like your Breath, you always exuded a sense of calm was as serene yet as alive as a flowing river. Compared to you, my emotions were constantly in turmoil, I was barely keeping in the swarm of angry wasps that were constantly buzzing in my mind. Like Shinazugawa-san and Iguro-san, I thought your refusal to join Pillar activities was your way of mocking us and it made me mad. But thinking back now, that momentary distraction from survivor's guilt and grief was probably the only thing that kept me going. Directing my anger at you instead of my own failures was what stopped me from wallowing in despair. I was so determined to prove you wrong, I think you even indirectly motivated me to perfect my swordsmanship. So thank you, Tomioka-san, for being such an airhead.

And recently, you've done more than piss me off. You opened my eyes to a world that I never thought was possible, by sparing the Kamado siblings. Just when I thought I was growing accustomed to your tactless but well-meaning nature, you just had to throw another curveball at me. I honestly never felt so betrayed in my life, when you defended Nezuko-san from my attack, back on Natagumo. Giving a demon a second chance? I could never bring myself to do that, no matter how much Tanjiro-kun begged, or insisted that Nezuko-san would never hurt humans. None of the Pillars, not even Mitsuri, would have. But because you who went through the almost exact sequence of loss as I did—of losing a sister, of taking the place of Pillar which we didn't think we deserved—could forgive, I had to as well. It was difficult, having to question my own beliefs about demons but in the end, there was hope. Hope, that I thought that was lost forever, years ago along with my sister. I'm sure the other Pillars can feel it too.

Tomioka-san, you made the right decision in a situation where the other Pillars wouldn't have, all the while staying true to your duties as Pillar. You were my pillar of support when I was at my lowest. Around you, I'm always reduced to my most ill-mannered self, ruining my carefully cultivated image of a good-natured, composed and respectable Pillar—but it's also invigorating once in a while, to speak unfiltered thoughts. I hope you know that I'm just joking, at least most of the time.

I heard about your reason for not joining the Pillars training from Tanjiro-kun. You are truly an idiot. After all you have done, how are you not worthy? You told me, "we're Pillars". Did you forget that the word "we" includes you as well? Tomioka-san, I really wish I could tell this to you face-to-face, you are already worthy. You've touched and saved the lives of so many, including mine. The Insect Pillar, Kocho Shinobu, is saying that you are worthy. Refuting the last words of a dead person is disrespectful, so just take it as you're fulfilling a request from me to realise your own self-worth, okay?

From now on, a lot is going to change and I'm sure, for the better. No one will have to suffer the same way you and I did. There will no longer be anyone who is forcefully pulled into this endless cycle of madness. That knowledge alone is liberating, don't you think? Knowing that the peace humanity has fought so long and so hard for is finally within reach. Of course, there is still a lot of hard work left, and I'm sorry for selfishly dying and leaving you all behind to clean up the rest of the mess. Though I believe that you, of all people, will pull through. Knowing you, you'll even make it look easy. Even though I'm no longer around, please remember that you are not alone. You never were. Together with the Tanjiro-kun and the others, pass down this seedling of hope to our future generations. This might actually be the hardest part for you, since it means that you need to at least try getting along with the other Pillars. So here's a hint: talking helps.

Writing such a long letter to you, it seems like I don't hate you after all.

Tomioka-san, for everything you have done, whether knowingly or unknowingly, thank you. Be well.

Best wishes,

Kochou Shinobu

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First fic that I actually sat down and took my time to complete. I intended it to be a lot shorter, but somehow once I started writing, there was just a lot that my Shinobu wanted to tell Giyuu. It turned out a little more like a diary, rather than a letter, so I'm not sure how to feel about that ugh.

Anyway, I'm rly digging GiyuShino right now, they would have made such a perfect couple if they had met under different circumstances. If they had more time in the manga, they would have made good friends, I think. Their friendship was only starting to develop then TT-TT Why does Gotouge have to be so cruel... /internal screaming/

Anyway, I imagined Shinobu to be more honest and thus, more sassy in this letter, closer to her younger self. After all, the dead don't have to keep up appearances anymore? Hope it isn't too ooc :/

Feedback welcome!


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